lessons learned

it has been a while since i’ve posted with good reason, although to me, there really is no good reason to go missing from a blog that you love so much.

i found out that i have lurkers {HI LURKERS! =o)} which is fine and dandy… i tend to be a lurker myself.  and it kinda surprised me because i didn’t expect to have many people outside the ones required to blurf because of blog groups.  hahaha.  (just kidding friends!!) however, i also learned that some of these lurkers have been taking things i’ve said online and making their own conclusions of how my life is and interpreting what i say in their own way.  on one hand, i knew this and expected this when i made the decision to include snippets of my personal life in my blog, when i made the decision to have a facebook account…  so i tried to keep things light but not fake, sarcastic but not snippity… and i consciously tried to keep negatives and super personal things off my accounts.  i can honestly say that i haven’t said anything that could be used against me.  but i’ve been proven wrong.

and the lurkers i’m talking about are people i don’t even personally know, which makes it much more sad and frustrating.  it’s the whole 6-degrees of separation thing… somebody’s friend’s cousin’s brother or something distant like that.  on one hand i’m flattered they take an interest in my blog and what i do, but on the other hand i DO believe that there is such a thing as BAD press.  i don’t try to please everyone in the world and reputation shouldn’t be a big deal to me personally but as a businessperson and a mother, yes, i do care about it.  i do care that someone i don’t know tells other people that i am selfish, rude and spiteful.  because i really don’t know where they got that from.  i am really hurt that someone could take my saying “i want to take care of my family” and twist it to mean that i’m burdened with that task or imposing my unwelcomed self and control over my family.

so i had to take time and step back and re-think all of this online blogging/social media stuff.  the fear of people judging me based on what i said versus who i am and what i do almost kept me from doing this.  because yes, i am afraid that those lurkers that are taking these words that i type and spreading their own stories will think i am accosting them personally and calling them out or calling them names but that is not at all what i am trying to do here.  i am calling out the situation and trying to explain to my blogger-friends why i haven’t been posting.

but if you haven’t figured it out yet – i’m back.  haha.  the decision was that i will continue to do this and continue to post snippets of my personal life and continue to do my very best to keep positive and know that people will continue to make judgements of me and my life for as long as i do so…  but that the positivity will always triumph over the negative and that i CAN do this because i have friends out there who legitimately support me.  so i thank those of you who are friends and i can’t wait to put this behind me and keep moving on.

lovies, =o) kel